Running a hybrid model is exhausting. I am beginning to wonder if it is sustainable. If the "reply all" email threads that making the rounds are any indication, I think there are many teachers on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Running a hybrid model, AM and PM sessions around an A group and a B group on alternating days, is brutal. 

It is like working two jobs simultaneously, one as a classroom educator and the other as an online instructor. It is like teaching twice the case load. All while fielding emails and messages from students, staff, and parents. Passing periods are spent hustling to the restroom only to return to the classroom in time to wipe down all the desks and high touch-point areas with hypochlorous solution. We are all overworked and a bit stressed. So, now what? 

My point: no one is getting a prize for having it the worst. We are still all in this together. We just need to find a way to make it work. Whatever that looks like. 

Personally, I try to find the humor in it all. I certainly did not have Unhealthy Air Quality on my 2020 Apocalypse Bingo Card. And, I never imagined that I would be teaching from behind a plexiglass curtain that looks like a salad bar or sitting at a desk surrounded by tape on the floor like Les Nessman.  

And, I certainly wasn't ready for this little gem in my Quantitative Analysis textbook. 

Being one of the few counties in the state with low COVID numbers, our school district was allowed to open with a hybrid model. AM and PM classes, with alternating days. 

The first week went fairly well. The students handled it better than staff, in my opinion. It has been a learning experience for everyone, coming off (emergency) distance learning to close out the end of the 2019-2020 school year. And, that learning curve has not been an easy one to bear. 

To say that teachers are stressed is understating the situation. I understand students are stressed, and parents are stressed. We are all under stress as we work to adjust to this new normal. I only point this out because I hear the stress in talking with students and staff. Daily, I see news articles about the stress teachers feel as they attempt to deliver quality instruction and learn new technologies.  

There is no baseline for the work we are doing. 

I feel it, too. Although, if I am being honest, my biggest concern is the future of education. I feel as if public education is setting itself up for changes that will quickly advance beyond its control. I worry that we are headed towards the privatization of education. 

The last few weeks have been stressful, really. There is no one contributing factor. It's all of it. I have been walking 3-4 miles per day in the morning just to relieve some of the stress. It helps. And, it makes for some nice sunrises. 

I know others feel this stress in various ways, and cope with the stress in their own ways. The sudden shut-down of schools in California on March 13th stressed everyone. The sudden realization that not all teachers are prepared to teach online...and that many students do not have access to wifi or a device. The businesses shutting down. The panic buying. 

Then, came talk of reopening businesses in California, only to be followed by the sudden decision on June 17th to close some businesses again. Panic buying is starting to trend again. My son's senior year will begin online. My school district has decided to go all-in with a traditional model (as of today) with the offer of an online model. To be honest, I am not sure how I feel about any of the models. I need to do more research. 

I have given a lot of thought to the re-opening of schools in August. And, I have listened to some rich discussions on the matter. Twitter is full of thoughts on the idea. Several articles have been published recently that give me pause. This one made me chuckle...because there is a fine line between laughing and crying. 

Yet, it is maddening to think that leadership at the federal level keeps pushing misinformation or denying the science. I do not know what school will look like in August when students return. But, I know some tough decisions need to be made...by all stakeholders.  

I love the public schools my kids attend, but I also know they can't handle a lice outbreak on a good day and are not equipped to handle COVID on a bad one. School principals and superintendents are not epidemiologists or virologists and can’t possibly be expected to make plans like they are. 

—Dan Sinker, Esquire 

It is difficult to understand the universe if you only study one planet.

Distance Learning

Following on my previous post about leadership, I attended Day 1 of the Distance Learning Leadership Summit, hosted by the Santa Cruz County Office of Education. Good discussions, over all three days. No one knows the answers to the big questions around Distance Learning, but I am optimistic about the discussion and events like this.

I will soon complete my third class on leadership. I've learned a lot about:

• Leadership theories
  
• Leadership characteristics
• Leadership behaviors
• Leadership ethics

Fail hard. Fail often. Fail forward.

quotes from Black Box Thinking:

• “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

• “A failure to learn from mistakes has been one of the single greatest obstacles to human progress.”

• “Society, as a whole, has a deeply contradictory attitude to failure. Even as we find excuses for our own failings, we are quick to blame others who mess up.”

• “It is partly because we are so willing to blame others for their mistakes that we are so keen to conceal our own. We anticipate, with remarkable clarity, how people will react, how they will point the finger, how little time they will take to put themselves in the tough, high-pressure situation in which the error occurred. The net effect is simple: it obliterates openness and spawns cover-ups. It destroys the vital information we need in order to learn.”

• “Only by redefining failure will we unleash progress, creativity, and resilience.”

• “Attention, it turns out, is a scarce resource: if you focus on one thing, you will lose awareness of other things.”

• “When people don’t interrogate errors, they sometimes don’t even know they have made one (even if they suspect they may have).”

• “When we are confronted with evidence that challenges our deeply held beliefs we are more likely to reframe the evidence than we are to alter our beliefs. We simply invent new reasons, new justifications, new explanations. Sometimes we ignore the evidence altogether.”

• “Cognitive dissonance occurs when mistakes are too threatening to admit to, so they are reframed or ignored. This can be thought of as the internal fear of failure: how we struggle to admit mistakes to ourselves.”

• “The problem today is that we operate with a ballistic model of success. The idea is that once you’ve identified a target (creating a new website, designing a new product, improving a political outcome) you come up with a really clever strategy designed to hit the bullseye.”

• “Success is not just dependent on before-the-event reasoning, it is also about after-the-trigger adaptation.”

• “In the absence of data, narrative is the best we have.”

• “Marginal gains is not about making small changes and hoping they fly. Rather, it is about breaking down a big problem into small parts in order to rigorously establish what works and what doesn’t.”

• “Creativity is, in many respects, a response.”

• “If we wish to fulfill our potential as individuals and organizations, we must redefine failure.”

With the current discussion around the reopening of schools and businesses, there is little understanding of how accomplish it safely. I understand that many business owners want to generate revenue and employees want to return to work. And, I know many kids want to return to the classroom...just as most teachers and professors do. But, reopening schools and reopening businesses are two vastly different notions.  

I do not have the answers. I trust the scientists, physicians, immunologists, and other highly skilled people to find the answers. Yet, the divide between science and politics is evident in this country. Some want freedom, and to "liberate" their state from quarantine, while others wonder what else can be done. And, I think the image below sums up this argument quite nicely. 

Either way, school will look very different going forward. UC, CSU, and many community colleges have opted for online learning (distance learning) only for the Fall 2020 semester. While distance learning is better than nothing, it makes me wonder about the pedagogy and the practice of learning online. Education as we know it is changing. For some, this is a good thing. For others, this is terribly frightening. For me, it just shows that technology alone will not fix education. Students have a right to quality education. As educators, we have a responsibility to shape it into something amazing. 

Each new craze proclaims that the house is falling down, even as it does nothing to repair the real, foundational problems…

—William Rankin 

I've been on numerous Zoom calls these last few weeks. Not all of those calls were productive in terms of "work" accomplished but most all of them were engaging. I think it is the social aspect of school that we all miss the most. There is no doubt that the changes brought about by COVID-19 have altered how we "work from home" or "learn from home"...and I imagine that these changes will have lasting impacts on the ways we view education.

When will schools re-open? If they re-open in the Fall for the 2020-2021 school year, how will the schedules be structured? I do not know the answers to these questions...no one does. And, I think that is the source of anxiety for many. It is all speculation at this point, but school will look different. NPR posted a great article on this with 9 possible ways school will look going forward. Each scenario comes with its own unique challenges.

On a lighter note: I have found that my type cabinet makes a great stand-up desk. It's the little things.

Behaviors of Servant Leadership

Last week's studies detailed the 10 characteristics of servant leadership as identified by Spears (2002) from the writings of Robert Greenleaf. Now that I know the attributes of a servant leader, how do I begin to translate those dispositions into actions and behaviors? 

Liden, Wayne, Zhao, and Henderson (as cited in Northouse, 2019) identified seven behaviors as part of the servant leadership process. Each behavior can comprise multiple actions to accomplish the work of servant leadership. Here are the behaviors with some sample actions that servant leaders take to maintain the servant leadership model:

1. Conceptualizing: deep understanding of an organization’s purpose, mission, goals, and problems (Northouse, 2019) 

2. Emotional healing: showing active support for a person’s well-being 

3. Put followers first: soulful connection with people, customers, and stakeholders  

4. Helping followers grow and succeed: Mentoring is a conscious effort to help followers (Murphy, 2011)

5. Behaving ethically: leading by example and modeling the values that the organization espouses (Kouzes & Posner, 2012) 

6. Empowering: providing the freedom and support for followers to make independent decisions (Northouse, 2019) 

7. Creating value for the community: goes beyond the core business of an organization 

To lead people, walk behind them.

What a crazy couple of weeks. I am in the process of completing my Spring semester, wrapping up a full year of doctoral studies. A full year that includes a summer session. And, switching campuses...as Concordia University-Portland closed after 100+ years and I was tasked with enrolling at Concordia University-Chicago.

Then, there was a sudden shift to "distance learning" as schools have closed for the year. It's been a crazy weeks all wrapped up in a ridiculous set of circumstances. It's hot. It's cold. And, rarely it's just right.

Participating in a tonight's #midnighpedagogy session there was talk about the Goldilocks Option. That got me thinking that maybe this year is like the Goldilocks Option gone rogue: it's too hot, it's too cold, and sometimes it's just right. The problem is the sometimes. But, the sometimes can be sweet. I need to remember that part.

Things change. Options change. And, take time for the sweets. Like WuTan flan. 

f/u = follow up 

I always love writing that abbreviation in my notes. It makes me smile. It’s the little things. 

It seems like I’ve been doing quite a bit of “follow up” lately. Following up with distance learning lessons, doctoral studies, Zoom conference schedules, and DIY projects around the house. 

It’s weird, but I actually like working from home.  I never thought I would. But, now that I am getting used to the pace and the schedule of working from home, I enjoy it. 

My “office” for afternoon calls isn’t so bad, either. 

That’s the order from the California governor, and echoed by the federal government. I’m practicing physical distancing and wearing a face mask (bandana) when venturing out for essentials items. And, now more than ever, my home is my sanctuary. 

It’s time to upgrade the sanctuary. Tore down the print shop (bedroom), even the closet. Fresh coat of paint + new floors. Those floors got my OCD level orange going, but it’s done. And. It looks awesome. Now, to move all the furniture, type cabinets, and supplies. Spring break is looking good in the sanctuary. 

#CovidCribs #QuarantineLife 

How do we continue to educate students when they are no longer in a physical classroom? For the past 100+ years, students attended class for 180(ish) days and the magic happened in a set routine. With the COVID 19 pandemic, this is no longer the case. 

Maybe this is the chance teachers have wanted for so long—a chance to redefine the educational landscape. Maybe this school closure is an opportunity radically change school. I don’t know what that redesign looks like right now. No one has the answers. But, I’m having this conversation with others...and I’m optimistic about the changes ahead. 

Strange times. Across the globe, and now locally, COVID-19 is altering daily life. And, no one really knows what the "new normal" looks like...we are all still trying to find our way. 

Yesterday, the stores here in California (and elsewhere) were overrun by shoppers. Hysteria finally gained traction, and panic buying ran rampant. Carts overflowing with non-perishable goods. Empty store shelves. No toilet paper to be found. The run on toilet paper really puzzles me, but I am not terribly concerned about it. Thankfully, I have plenty of provisions on hand and I doubt this "flattening of the the curve" will turn apocalyptic. 

At least, I hope my assumptions prove correct. But, the main disruption of COVID-19/corona virus is the "social distancing" and the advisory that people over age 65 (or those with a chronic health condition) stay isolated. Quarantine is such a nasty, clinical word—isolation doesn't sound so punitive, I suppose. Regardless, this is how we flatten the curve and prevent such a mass outbreak like the ones in China, Italy, and Spain.

Schools announced on Friday that they will remain closed for up to 3 weeks. Meaning, no school until after Spring Break. Schools are struggling to push lessons to students and to continue the learning. Many schools are implementing a drive-thru service for student breakfast and lunch, as some students rely on those meals.

Social distancing also means that I will be delivering meals and other necessities to my parents (both over age 65). I am sure they aren't happy about cancelling dinner outings, book club, or any other social event they enjoy so much. But, in order to ensure they have what they need while they remain isolated at their home, I will be making deliveries...and staying 6 feet away. *sigh*

On a personal note: the upside to all of this, if there is one, is that I will finally be able to work ahead on my doctoral studies. And, I like to joke that I have been training for "social distancing" my whole life. That is partly true. As an ambivert, I am elated that I do not have to attend large gatherings! But, I wouldn't wish it for others.

Tomorrow, I turn 50 years old. I don't feel 50. And, reflecting back on this birthday, nothing much has changed since I turned 40.

Nothing much has changed at all. Several people have told me that this is a milestone event. So, I suppose I should be thankful that I have made it this far.

I am grateful for what I have, and I am humbled by all the love and support of friends and family. Although, I am still trying to figure things out. I am still trying to find my way. I am still learning...and playing the game.

Last Monday, I received an email from my university stating that they would soon end operations. Simply put, the university is closing at the end of Spring 2020 semester (in early May). As a student who began the doctoral program in the summer session of 2019, it was disheartening and frustrating. Maddening, really.  

How does a school with a 115 year history suddenly decide to close? Like most of the currently enrolled students, I chose this university based on its history and its reputation. How could this happen? Why were we not told before the Spring 2020 tuition check was cashed? The answer: declining enrollment and rising operational costs.

On a personal level, I am faced with finding another doctoral program that supports my given focus...and one that will accept all of my program credits. The upside: several colleges have stepped forward to accept transfers with full credit. So, I am now in the process of selecting another school. 

Currently reading countless scholarly articles, peer-reviewed journals, and books. Many of them discuss the nuances between theory and practice.

My thinking: the distinction between theory and practice is a wonderfully descriptive metaphor for life.

"Measure twice—cut once" works in theory, but...

...in theory, everything works. In practice, things fall apart. And, then it becomes a cycle. Practice sometimes fails. When it does, we theorize.

Measure three times. 

Cut twice. 

Return to Home Depot.

We ask questions to understand outcomes and clarify. Sometimes, those questions are framed in the simplest terms. 

Standing in the lumber aisle at Home Depot, with the question "What went wrong?" begging for an answer. Eventually, if we ask enough questions, or the right questions, we arrive an new theories...that are put back into practice.

*mirror image: type cabinet, California job case, & Cooper Black 48pt type

Last week's assignment required a detailed literature synthesis around a specific topic. The literature research performed for this assignment required that the issues surrounding the topic be examined fully. Simply stated, the literature was to be located, executed, and reduced to an easy-to-follow format for the reader.

In three pages of double-spaced, Times New Roman 12pt text, I detailed the topic, crystallized the inherent problems on the topic, and proceeded to summarize several key arguments found in the peer-reviewed journal articles I collected. A few days later, I received the following from feedback from my professor:

Your have selected to study an issue of great importance, an issue that will get more complex with time. What's your hypothesis (thesis statement) regarding this topic?

The answer is: I do not quite know. I mean...I have a pretty good idea. But, I am having a difficult time putting it into words.  

Research 12-18 articles from peer-reviewed journals. Synthesize the data, main arguments, claims, and conclusions for each one.  Place the information into a matrix (spreadsheet).  

I have found 16 articles. As of Wednesday, I have read and highlighted half of them, comprising approximately 100 pages of PDF text. The complete matrix is due Saturday (January 25th). Looks like I have some reading, annotating, and contemplating to do.

I'll be right here if you need me.

*photo sources: unknown

Data mining. Data harvesting. Data profiling. 

This, coupled with student privacy in a digital world, is the focus of my research. 

If you would like to read more about the ways social media impacts education, start here. If you are using Google Suite for Education, check out this research article [PDF] from 2016.

I am not opposed to digital learning, but I am concerned about the data that is collected. Who controls that data? Who makes decisions based on that data? And where is the line between enhancing collaboration (enhancing the user experience) and improving student learning? What is the real cost of all the data we surrender in the name of instructional technology?

The answers to these questions are not limited to one company. Google, Apple, Microsoft, and a host of other companies are all competing for a share of the education market. Corporate strategy in the education sector is nothing new (see below), but the speed and scale of the market has shifted...and the outcomes of these strategies run far deeper.

*image:18pt Century Schoolbook typeface | mirror image for legibility

Another immensely popular face for A.T.F. [American Type Founders] and [Morris Fuller] Benton, Century Schoolbook was either licensed or copied by all the makers of mechanical composition machines, including Linotype, Intertype, Monotype, and Ludlow. Linotype also commissioned Rudolph Ruzicka to design Primer, which was intended to compete directly with Century Schoolbook for the textbook market. -Wikipedia

There is a lot going on in this image below...and, I think this cut (print block) sums up my current situation in life. This image popped up on my facebook "memories" today as a reminder of the picture I snapped four years ago in my printshop.

My intent was to document and share with others this gorgeous vintage cut and type I rescued from a Fresno antique store. At the time, I had questions about the best cleaning methods for the copper plate and the type...and facebook was a big part of my print community. The letterpress and printing groups on facebook are full of wonderful, helpful people. 

Thanks for the memories, facebook. I miss those people in the printing groups, the hobbyists, the artists, and the veterans of the craft. Why am I slowly leaving facebook? As part of my terminal degree, I am knee-deep (not a scientific term) in researching scholarly journal articles for my doctoral degree. Instead of printing and sharing to the communities on facebook, I am synthesizing main arguments within the texts and creating a matrix (spreadsheet). For this current project, I am curating approximately 14 articles around the topic of instructional technology ("edtech") and the ways technology impacts student privacy. It is a bit frightening, to be honest.

And, social media is the biggest offender next to smartphones and apps. The more I read about edtech and student privacy, the more I become concerned over my own. So, my "memories" are methodically being archived and summarily deleted. I am not jumping on the Big Data conspiracy train or sounding the social media alarm bells—I just want more control over my data. On that note: I'll post my findings here later if you're interested.

Now knee-deep into Week 2 of Spring 2020 semester of my doctoral studies. And, I’m anxious. Not because of the work, the reading, the research, or the writing. 

My anxiety is because of all the questions. Questions surrounding my studies and my pursuit of a degree. Why? What do I hope to achieve by accomplishing it? Will I return to the private sector once I’ve earned my degree? 

Upside: the anxiety fades pretty quickly. I remind myself that I am doing this for me. And, that I don’t have the answers to everyone’s questions. I’m still learning. 

FOCUS 

The world is a distracting place. We hear phrases like, “Pay attention!” and "undivided attention" along with other demands for personal time and energy.

But, is there a cost associated with distraction?

The cost is personal satisfaction. If I lose focus, I allow little things to distract me from my needs and goals.

With so many things competing for my attention, I’ve decided that I need to focus. Focus intentionally. Focus on what matters to me. Focus where and how I spend my time.

To be clear (see what I did there?), my focus is not about self-care. My focus concerns self-awareness, for self-care without self-awareness is useless. I want to focus, analyze, and be critical of how I think, act, and behave.

With an increasingly connected world, it is easy to fall into a persistent state of distraction. It is easy to convince myself that I am accomplishing things or that I am being productive. Only, that is not true because all the little things amount to broad and shallow work. It is a simple justification.

I want to focus on deep work. I miss the long, solitary concentration that yields a satisfaction of knowing that I was intentional and deliberate. There is a state of flow that comes from deep work, and that requires focus.

To be so focused on the work, to be so engaged in the process, is a wonderful thing...even if the work itself is not stellar. The focus is the reward.

The new year–the new decade–begins today. And, in my usual fashion, I feel somewhat ill-prepared. At least, I don't spend to much time reflecting on the past year...I don't see change as an annual review process. Reflection, change, and habits are an ongoing cycle in my opinion.

While all the articles and commercials are full of good-intent, it only heightens my level of anxiety. Meaning, when I read an article on "20 Ways to Be a Happier Person in 2020" I begin to question my own happiness. I wonder if perhaps I should be more intentional, more focused. Could I be happier on Day 1 of 366?

If I follow one or more of these 20 ways, will that lead to a more rewarding and fulfilling life in 2020? Perhaps. But, the thought of all this only serves to make feel anxious about my own process. Maybe it's a lack of confidence. Maybe it's imposter syndrome. I'm certain there are articles on how to overcome these feelings, too. Social media is flooded with “one word” declarations, resolutions, and intentions this time of year...yet, I only want clarity.

Currently on Winter Break, but trying to read ahead for the next course. Three textbooks for this course.

LEADING WITHOUT AUTHORITY

This course provides resources to apply the powerful approach of servant-leadership. This approach emphasizes leading by serving, leading by example, and recognizing that the more organizational power and influence one has, the more one is responsible for the growth and well-being of others. Leaders in all organizations influence change and re-shape working culture most effectively when empowering others. Those who understand the art of leading without authority will inspire commitment and leadership development in others.

So far, I am learning about different types and bases for power. Also, learning about the differences between managing and leading.

"I understand the compounding awesomeness of continually fixing small broken things."

There is no magic. 

There is only context.